As a loved one of someone who struggles with addiction, you might feel helpless and confused about how to help. You want your loved ones to get better and find lasting recovery, but you don’t know exactly what they need or how to support them on the road to healthy living.
If someone you care about has addiction problems, it’s important for you to understand their struggles and why they’re having a hard time getting better. You also need to know how your actions affect them and why it’s best to avoid some common mistakes that well-intentioned people often make. When you have a sense of what addiction entails, you’ll naturally start thinking about ways you can help and even come up with helpful ideas of your own.
Reading this guide will give you an introduction to addiction and what it means for someone who struggles with it. It will also provide information about how families are affected by addiction and how you can cope and adapt. Most importantly, we’ll show you how to offer the support your loved one needs right now and what you can do to help them heal in ways that will last a lifetime.
What is addiction?
Addiction is a complex condition that involves physical, psychological, and emotional factors. It’s not just about poor self-control or lack of willpower. It involves changes in the brain and body that make it hard for people to control their use of alcohol or other drugs even when they want to stop.
People who struggle with addiction often face strong cravings and feel like they need their substance of choice to function normally. And using it, even when they know it will cause problems, whether, in their relationships, health, work performance, or other areas, can be extremely difficult to resist. Remember: Addiction isn’t purely a bad habit or character flaw; it’s a chronic disease because the changes in the brain make it really hard for people to stop using.
Many factors can influence whether someone develops an addiction, including:
Genetic and hereditary factors
- Some people may be more vulnerable to developing risky substance use behaviors because of the brain changes that happen when anyone abuses drugs or alcohol. A person’s age, sex, or ethnic background also might put them at greater risk for certain addictions. For example, research suggests that men are more likely than women to suffer from substance use disorder and gambling; Native Americans have higher rates than other groups of people do of developing compulsive disorders related to alcohol.
Other medical conditions
- People with depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and other psychiatric problems seem to be at a higher risk for addiction in general.
Psychosocial issues
- Difficulties in relationships, at work, or in other areas of life can create stress that increases the risk of addiction. Someone who is isolated and lonely may be more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol. Other people might start using substances as a way to cope with traumatic experiences like sexual abuse, domestic violence, divorce, an accident, or even military combat.
If you’ve ever seen someone struggling with addiction who’s trying to quit but can’t resist using, it might have seemed like they could just “snap out of it” if they really wanted to. One reason your loved one is having such a hard time quitting is that their cravings are actually symptoms of an illness. As strange as it may sound, substance use disorder isn’t something people choose; it develops as a result of biological changes in the brain. Still, there are things your loved one can do in combination with professional help to manage this disease and reduce its symptoms over time.
What causes addiction?
It’s a question scientists and doctors don’t yet completely understand. Their research suggests that addiction might develop because taking addictive substances like alcohol or other drugs causes changes in how the brain functions. These can alter certain brain chemicals involved in things like mood, sleep, appetite, emotions, judgment, decision-making, impulse control, and metabolism.
The changes that happen in the brain as a result of addiction can cause a person to have intense cravings even when they don’t want to use anymore. Over time, these changes can negatively affect how people think and make decisions. As a result, someone struggling with addiction might continue to use not because they like or want to experience the high but because they feel like they need to in order to cope with their problems or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
It isn’t clear why some people suffer from substance use disorder while others don’t, even when they use the exact same substances in the same way. However, there are certain risk factors that can make it more likely for a person to develop an addiction, and these vulnerabilities might be more or less prominent depending on which substance someone uses. For instance, According to the Mental Health Services Administration, research has shown that people with mental illness or health conditions like depression or anxiety are at greater risk of becoming dependent on alcohol or sedatives than those without such problems
The environment also plays a key role: If you grew up around lots of people who were using drugs and alcohol, your own chances of developing an addiction as an adult are much higher.
It can be easy to blame addiction on personal choices, but it’s important to remember that many people who develop substance use disorders are simply fighting their own battles. For instance, researchers have found that when adolescents start drinking, they’re often doing so to deal with deep emotional or social pain that has something to do with their parents or other family members who might also struggle with addiction.
How families are affected by addiction?
Addiction changes the life course of entire families, not only through the ways it hijacks a person’s brain but also because of its effects on emotions, behaviors, relationships, and health. In addition to putting a strain on marriages and other types of relationships, substance use disorder can affect parenting skills, create financial problems or leave people without homes. If you’re dealing with a loved one who struggles with addiction, it’s important for you to understand why these effects occur so that you can find ways to address them.
Even if your loved one hasn’t suffered any serious consequences yet, it’s clear that their substance use is hurting your family, and you’re likely to be experiencing a range of emotions about it. You might feel betrayed or hurt by the actions they’ve taken while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It’s common for parents who find out their child has a substance use disorder to feel like they’ve failed at one of their most important duties.
Alcohol and drug abuse can also create feelings of anxiety, guilt, or shame in the people who do it and the ones who love them. Often, these emotions get triggered by specific behaviors: If your loved one gets arrested for driving under the influence, it’s normal for you to question whether or not they can be trusted. You might also wonder if they were thinking clearly enough to operate vehicles in the past when you recall times when they seemed intoxicated.
Although addiction can cause people to behave in ways that seem cruel, self-centered, or manipulative, often, these actions are just symptoms of the illness itself. In other words, the personality traits that cause people to suffer from substance use disorder in the first place can sometimes lead them to put their own needs first or behave badly when they’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
For example, if your loved one has anxiety, they might drink or do drugs as a way to avoid confronting their feelings head-on. If they are prone to depression, their substance use might be a way to escape the pain of living, which is what many people with this disorder do when they’re feeling overwhelmed.
How do I know if my loved one is struggling with addiction?
Even though there are many different addictions out there, people struggling with addiction often face common problems. For instance:
- They may have an increased tolerance for drugs or alcohol, meaning they feel the need to keep using more of it in order to achieve intoxication or the desired effect.
- They may spend a lot of time thinking about the next opportunity to use substances, trying to find them, and then recovering from the drug’s effects.
- They might start to prioritize their life around getting drugs or alcohol instead of family and friends, work, school, hobbies, etc.
- They might try quitting on their own but fail due both to withdrawal symptoms and cravings. They may also have given up on other methods of treatment programs because nothing has worked so far.
- They may show poor judgment by continuing to use drugs or alcohol despite having a history of negative consequences related to their use.
How to help a loved one with an addiction?
One of the most challenging things about having a loved one who struggles with addiction is knowing whether or not to confront them. You might be afraid that if you bring up your feelings, they’ll get defensive or angry because it seems like you’re blaming them for their actions. But it’s important to remember that addiction isn’t the same as a lack of willpower; it’s a chronic illness, and the person who’s suffering from it needs professional help.
Even if you’re not sure how to bring up your concerns with your loved one, or if they’ve already agreed to get substance abuse treatment, there are steps that you can take to support them on their journey towards recovery:
- Avoid enabling your loved one. So often, loved ones try to minimize the effects of addiction by making excuses for their actions or covering up evidence of substance abuse. While you might think you’re doing your loved one a favor, this is exactly what a person with substance use disorder wants: To keep on using drugs or alcohol without facing any consequences.
- Find ways to invest in yourself and spend time with friends and family. It’s especially important for you to take care of yourself whenever your feelings are triggered or even when they’re not. One of the effects of addiction is that it makes loved ones feel drained, worn out, and exhausted from dealing with all the problems someone else’s drug use creates. Allowing yourself time for self-care is a key indicator that you’re prioritizing yourself and your needs.
- Stay informed about addiction by reading reputable resources, such as the National Institute on Drug Abuse or Alcoholics Anonymous. You can also attend online support groups that are hosted by these organizations to get additional support from people in your community who have been through similar experiences.
- Understand the triggers and cravings that might cause your loved one to use drugs or alcohol. Often, the stress of everyday life is so overwhelming for persons with substance use disorder that they need a way to escape from it. It can be helpful if you anticipate these moments and create plans for how you will handle them together.
- If your loved one struggles with social anxiety, perhaps they have difficulty participating in parties, dinners, or other events where alcohol will be served. If withdrawal symptoms are part of the problem, it’s helpful to know what they are and when they’re most likely to occur.
- Encourage your loved ones to talk about their feelings instead of numbing them with substances. Sometimes, People with substance use disorder who have grown up in dysfunctional homes are never taught how to regulate their emotions, so they meet problems with alcohol or drugs. It can be helpful for them to find alternative coping mechanisms.
What are the common mistakes to avoid when helping a loved one with an addiction?
Although you mean well and you’re trying to be supportive, there are some ways that you might actually be harming your loved one’s recovery.
One common mistake is to treat addiction as if it were a choice. Remember that addiction isn’t the same thing as having poor judgment or lacking willpower; it’s a chronic disease, just like heart disease or diabetes. One of the most harmful things you can do is to blame your loved one for their drug or alcohol abuse because someone with an addiction is already beating themselves up about it.
Another mistake that loved ones often make is trying to minimize the problem. Remember that substance abusers aren’t in control of themselves, so they really need the help and support of others. That means that you need to help your loved one seek treatment, not just sweep the problem under the rug until it blows up in your face later on.
It’s understandable that you might feel frustrated with your loved one for their drug or alcohol abuse, but try to remember that they’re suffering too. Try to avoid taking out your anger or frustration on your loved one, since that will only make them feel worse about themselves. Set boundaries for what you’re willing to put up with and how many contacts you want to have with your loved ones while they’re in treatment. The road to long-term recovery is going to be tough, but by taking the right steps to support your loved one’s sobriety, you can make a huge difference.
What are the appropriate treatment options for addiction?
The standard treatment for overcoming addiction involves attending therapy, such as individual or group counseling. Medication may also be part of the recovery process, and some people choose to attend treatment facilities such as inpatient rehab programs where they can take care of their physical and emotional needs while learning how to live without substance use.
There are many options for addiction treatment, including talk therapy (individual or group), family counseling, 12-step programs, medication management, and others. The two most common methods of treatment are psychotherapy (also called “talk therapy”) and medications. Without professional help, recovering persons with substance use disorder may relapse back into drug abuse time and time again.
It is vital that individuals suffering from substance use disorder get the help they need by putting them into addiction rehab centers. Here, medical professionals can diagnose and treat their condition. Withdrawal can be very dangerous for someone who is not under professional supervision.
When it comes to addiction treatment, there are several options. Rehab is the most comprehensive form of addiction treatment, while outpatient rehab allows people to begin treatment and recover while still living at home. Once you’ve chosen a specific method of recovery, be sure to address mental health issues or mental disorders if necessary.
Addiction treatment process:
Evaluation: The first step is to get a full assessment of the person’s current state. Medical, psychological and social factors are considered in order to create a customized addiction treatment plan for each individual.
Screening: Substance abuse is often accompanied by other mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. A comprehensive evaluation will include a screening designed to determine the presence of these co-occurring disorders.
Detox: Medically supervised detox is the first phase of addiction treatment, during which withdrawal symptoms are managed by medication and other therapies. Treatment professionals help prevent potentially dangerous complications that might arise during this time.
Therapy: Individual or group therapy can be helpful for teaching individuals with substance use disorder new coping strategies they can use to avoid relapse. Family therapy can also help a family member of a person with substance use disorder understand what their loved one is going through and how they can best support him or her on the road to recovery.
Medication: Medications exist to help manage cravings, ease withdrawal symptoms and block the effects of drug abuse (such as high blood pressure and increased heart rate). Different medications work in different ways, and a person may need to try out a few before finding one that works well.
Community: People with substance use disorder can attend social support groups for people who share their struggles or join community activities such as Twelve-Step meetings or educational classes. These experiences provide an opportunity to establish new friendships with individuals who understand the challenges of addiction treatment and recovery.
Relapse Prevention: Once drug or alcohol addiction treatment is complete, People with substance use disorder may be taught how to manage stress or stressful situations and warning signs that trigger cravings in order to avoid relapsing back into drug abuse.
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